The Fire Seer and Her Quradum Page 2

  “So there’s a blood connection,” said the elder. “That might make a difference in persuading him to join.”

  “It won’t. I have many relatives in that house. They all hate me.” During those years he’d lived with Tufan, he’d hated himself too.

  “I would like you to try.”

  He prayed they were not thinking of sending Taya as well. “Just me?”

  “No,” said the elder. “I’m sending you with Eriac, the ilittum who did the initial testing.”

  Good, he didn’t want Taya within a mile of that compound—nor any woman, for that matter. The thought of being there himself turned his stomach. He wiped his palms on his riding pants. “With respect, Elder, I would rather be sent on another task. Taya and I got along well on our Hrappan mission, and she was going to request that I be her quradum on future missions.”

  “Any quradum can escort the fire seer,” said the elder. “But you are uniquely qualified for this task. No one else can do it.”

  “I don’t think I’ll be any more persuasive than Eriac. My history in Tufan’s household may be more of a liability than an asset.”

  “I doubt that,” said the elder. “Eriac reported a number of oddities about that household. He said if he went back, he wanted it to be in the company of someone who understood what was going on.”

  Mandir swallowed, wishing for a cup of water; his mouth had gone dry. The happenings in Tufan’s household were not oddities; they were depravities. The best thing to do for that place would be to burn it to the ground. Let Isatis cauterize that festering wound, as she had done to the corrupted city of Zhaerath.

  “You disappoint me, Mandir,” said the elder. “I’d have thought you’d have more compassion for this boy. Tufan is an embarrassment to the royal family—it is no secret, we all know. The Coalition removed you from his influence. Are you not grateful that we did? Will you not return the favor for this boy Setsi?”

  Mandir dropped his gaze. The elder was right; his compassion was lacking. Neshi had rightfully shamed him for this and all his other faults in character. He was trying to do better, if for no other reason than to be worthy of Taya, whom he loved deeply. But to return to that household and revisit all the terrors of his youth? Even thinking about it filled him with dread.

  Elder Bahu gave him a stern look. “You will ride out tomorrow. Thus are you commanded, in the Mothers’ names.”

  Mandir nodded numbly. He couldn’t defy the Coalition; they’d punished him once already. But flood and fire, if only they’d send him anywhere else. He’d rather face an army of the mountain tribes than see his family again.

  Chapter 2

  Taya spent a couple of hours with Elder Sisit, relating all the details of her mission and turning over the tablets she and Mandir had written. The tablets documented, among other things, the fire visions Isatis had granted her in Hrappa. Little of what she and Mandir had written had been precisely accurate; they’d doctored much of it to cover up their illegal behavior. Fortunately, the elder hadn’t seemed suspicious.

  Afterward, the elder handed her over to a kinatum, who fetched her supper from the kitchen and showed her to a room. “I’m sorry it’s so dark in here,” he said.

  “Are there no windows?” Taya had rarely seen a room without windows. One needed them not just for light, but to keep the air circulating.

  “It’s because we’re on the north side,” said the kinatum. “Beyond the wall is solid stone—you see?”

  “I see.”

  “It keeps us cool, at least. And you can light the candles.”

  He was right; the room felt reasonably cool. Taya flicked her hand, lighting all six candles at once.

  The kinatum bowed and left.

  She settled down to eat her first hot meal since leaving Hrappa—barley and lirry fruit and spiced fish—and wondered when Mandir would be through with his meeting.

  He turned up at her door ten minutes later, with his hair damp and his face freshly shaved.

  “Took me a while to find you,” he said.

  Seeing that he had no supper, Taya shoved her plate toward him. “Want some?”

  “I’m not hungry. I might go down to the kitchen later.”

  Taya eyed him. Not hungry at suppertime was unusual for Mandir. He looked strained. “How went your meeting with the elder?”

  “Well enough.” He pulled up a chair and sat. “She hasn’t talked to me about the Hrappan mission yet. She’s sending me somewhere else.”

  “Oh.” Taya perked up. “I didn’t think it’d be so soon. When do we leave?”

  “Not both of us,” said Mandir. “Just me.”

  Taya set down her spoon. This was unexpected. “I thought we were going to try to be paired together from now on.” So much had been left unsaid. Had he requested a solo mission? Did he want to be separated from her?

  “I want us to be paired together, but they’re sending me to my father’s house.”

  Taya gasped. His father’s house? Where Mandir had been abused as a boy, and inflicted abuse of his own? “And you agreed to go?”

  “I’m following orders,” said Mandir. “They tested a boy at my father’s house, and he had the Gift, but he refused to leave with the envoy. So they’re sending me there in hopes that I can persuade him, given that we’re probably brothers or some relation.”

  “By yourself?”

  Mandir shook his head. “With the envoy.”

  Taya stalled by chewing a bite of barley. She sensed that Mandir was trying to appear more confident than he really felt. Any man who’d been through what Mandir had been through would quite reasonably be terrified of returning to his childhood home. But perhaps Mandir didn’t trust her enough yet to allow that fear to show. He wanted to appear strong.

  Her relationship with Mandir was still so new and fragile. She didn’t know if it was going to last. They’d slept together every night on the road from Hrappa, but they hadn’t talked yet about where they saw their relationship heading in the longer term.

  She’d considered bringing it up while they were on the road, but she hadn’t wanted to risk what they already had. Mandir claimed he’d been in love with her for years, but who knew whether his interest would persist now that he’d actually slept with her and the excitement of their inaugural mission was over? He might have built her up as a fantasy in his mind, one she couldn’t live up to in reality. And there was still a part of her that didn’t fully trust him, either. His changes in behavior might not last. What if he reverted to his old, bullying ways?

  A new relationship could be like a new garment: just because it fit and looked wonderful when she first put it on didn’t mean that it wouldn’t itch later, or pull at her in ways that irritated her more and more over time. If the Coalition separated them, she’d be shedding this relationship without ever really knowing whether it suited her. Mandir would go to Tufan’s, and while he was gone, she could be sent somewhere else. Their paths might never cross again.

  “Would you like me to go with you?” she asked.

  “No,” said Mandir. “But it’s not because I don’t want your company. It’s because I don’t want you near Tufan.”

  Taya shrugged. “I’m not scared of Tufan.”

  “You should be.”

  “Why? I have this.” Taya swept a hand across the table, summoning fire in a swath behind her fingers. It burned and then evaporated into a wisp of smoke.

  “Tufan has no magic, but he has the weight of the crown behind him. By the Accords of Let, we have no power to threaten him,” said Mandir. “And his house is a place of depravity. No decent person should see what goes on there.”

  “You’re talking to a woman who saw a man burn to death less than two weeks ago.”

  Mandir took her hand and squeezed it. “That was hard on you, as I recall.”

  She nodded, her eyes welling. Yes, it had been hard.

  “Have you ever wondered why I mention my brothers sometimes, but never a sister?” asked Mandir.
<
br />   Taya blinked. “No, I never thought about that.”

  “It’s because Tufan orders his girl children killed at birth.”

  Taya swallowed. That was, indeed, rather sobering. “You’re saying that as nasty as he is to men and boys, he’s worse to women and girls?”

  “Yes.”

  “He still can’t touch me. The Accords of Let that protect him from us also protect us from him. But perhaps you are thinking...” She hesitated, and then forced out the words. “Perhaps you are thinking you’d like to work with someone else from now on.”

  “Absolutely not,” Mandir said hurriedly, squeezing her hand again. “I want to come back from this mission and work with you again. I’m terrified they’ll send you away on some other mission, and when I come back, we won’t be able to team up.”

  Taya relaxed. It wasn’t their relationship that was the problem; only the situation. “Let me talk to the elders about that in the morning.”

  “Good idea,” said Mandir. “As a fire seer, you have negotiating power that I don’t. You should be able to choose me as your quradum when I get back. I imagine they’d let you choose anybody.”

  Taya thought she might accomplish more than that. Possibly she could persuade the elders to send her on the mission to Tufan’s in place of the envoy. But for now she’d keep quiet. No sense discussing it with Mandir when she didn’t know yet what the elders would say.

  Mandir angled a thumb at the door. “I need to talk to some people before tomorrow. Will you...er, will you be here later?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” She rested her chin on her hand, admiring him. She’d take Mandir any way she could get him: dusty and scruffy from the road, or freshly bathed and sweet-smelling, as he was now. “Would you like to stay the night?”

  Mandir grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

  ∞

  The next morning, Mandir headed into the town of Rakigari to buy supplies for his journey. Taya had stayed behind at the temple to meet with the elders, and they’d arranged to meet at the horse seller’s around noon, just before he was scheduled to ride out. He could help her look at horses and have a chance to say goodbye.

  Filling his saddlebags didn’t take long. When he found himself with extra time on his hands, he pointed the blood bay’s nose toward Neshi’s house, though he feared he might be unwelcome on short notice. Neshi was a busy man who dealt with more serious problems than Mandir’s. But when Mandir arrived, Neshi beamed at him, called him rintu—dear one—and touched fingers. He told Mandir he could spare him half an hour, if Mandir would save him time by washing the bandages in the bucket he’d just filled with boiled water.

  So Mandir did the laundry, wondering what Taya would think if she saw him submitting humbly to such a task. Would she think less of him? Perhaps she wouldn’t, having grown up in a farming family where everyone helped with the chores. When he finished, Neshi invited him back to his private residence, a pair of modest rooms attached to the hospital where he treated his patients. One of Neshi’s followers had prepared a pot of lassi. Neshi took it and poured a cup for each of them.

  Mandir wrapped his hands around his cup and sipped. It was good lassi, sweetened with honey, which softened the tang of the fermented goat’s milk. “I’ve a lot to tell you about things that happened in Hrappa.”

  “If we’ve much to discuss, perhaps you could come back this evening at suppertime.” Neshi glanced out the window at the sun. “I can only spare half an hour right now.”

  Mandir shook his head. “Some other time, then, since I’m riding out this afternoon. For now, I want to tell you about this mission I’ve been assigned.” Moving straight to the point, he explained that the Coalition was sending him to his father’s house to retrieve a boy with the Gift. “I know that if I were a better man, I would want to go,” he added. “I know you will tell me I’m not showing enough compassion for this boy Setsi. But I worked so hard to leave Tufan and that household behind, and I’m afraid that if I go back...” He trailed off. He didn’t know exactly what he was afraid of, just that the thought of being there made his blood run cold.

  “Explain. What is it you fear?” prompted Neshi.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Think it through,” said Neshi. “Do you fear you’ll be mistreated again?”

  “I know I’ll be mistreated,” said Mandir. “But that’s not what I fear.”

  “Perhaps you fear that you’ll turn back to the boy you once were and lose the progress you’ve made.”

  Mandir rubbed the back of his head. “Maybe.” That was part of his fear, but not all of it. These days, he understood that Tufan couldn’t make him be cruel and nasty; how he behaved was entirely his own choice.

  “Your father and brothers have not sinned against you in a long time,” said Neshi. “Yet you hold a grudge against them which poisons your soul. Is it not time to let this resentment go?”

  Mandir shook his head. “No. The things my father did...” He hesitated. “My resentment will last a lifetime.”

  “You have sinned against others and been forgiven. Why do you not pass this kindness on to others, and forgive them for their failings?”

  “They aren’t failings,” said Mandir. “You make it sound as if my father made a mistake, as if he beat and ridiculed me by accident. Tufan is deliberately cruel. It excites him. If I forgave him, he’d take that as an invitation to hurt me again. He hasn’t changed.”

  “You have changed,” Neshi pointed out.

  “Because I felt remorse for what I’d done,” said Mandir. “Tufan never feels remorse.”

  “You haven’t been there in a while. What is it now, nine years since you’ve seen your father?”

  “Nine years, yes.”

  “What about your brothers—could you forgive them?”

  Mandir sighed and dropped his chin into his hands. “I don’t know. It might be different for some of them, but...” He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to go, yet he knew he was in the wrong and making excuses for himself.

  “I ask again, what are you afraid of?” asked Neshi.

  “I told you I don’t know.”

  “Then it’s a good thing I do know,” said Neshi.

  “You know what I’m afraid of? Tell me.”

  “You’re afraid of the boy you used to be,” said Neshi. “You lack the courage to face that boy.”

  Mandir sat up, stung. “I don’t lack courage. The things Taya and I did in Hrappa—I can’t tell you about them because that would get people in trouble, but I faced serious threats. I put my life at risk more than once, and always for the benefit of others.”

  Neshi waved his hand and paused to sip his lassi. “You are a quradum. You have always welcomed physical challenges. What you fear is a threat to the soul. That terrifies you. You would rather fight a lion with your bare hands than closely examine what lies in your heart.”

  Mandir was shamed into silence. He’d had almost exactly that thought yesterday, but he hadn’t said it out loud.

  “Let me tell you a story,” said Neshi. “A true story. It is not well known.”

  “All right.”

  “In your education at the Coalition temple, did you learn anything of the mountain people?” asked Neshi.

  “Of course,” said Mandir. “Since it’s our job to contain them. They’re not like us, in that they are not a unified nation. They are many separate tribes who fight amongst themselves over territory. We exploit this fact by stirring up trouble between the tribes when they gather on our borders.”

  “What you say is true—most of the time. But hundreds of years ago, a great leader arose among the mountain people. Her name was Twisting Arrow. She united the tribes into a vast army and invaded the river country.”

  Mandir nodded. Thus far, he knew this story. The mountain people, led by Twisting Arrow, had defeated his people and occupied the river country for over a hundred years. During this time, the mother tongue—the original language of h
is people—was almost obliterated.

  “The king of the river country at the time of the invasion had three sons. The eldest son, he sent with an army to face the forces of Twisting Arrow, but that army was destroyed, and the son was killed. The king kept his middle son at the palace, to help defend it when Twisting Arrow’s forces reached it. But his youngest son, who was but nine years old, he hid in a small, distant village to preserve his life.

  “Twisting Arrow’s army swept through the river country. They captured the palace and executed the royal family—except for the youngest son, who was far away and unknown to them. His name was Telal. He received word of the deaths of his father, mother, and brother. He grieved for them, made offerings, and swore that someday he would avenge them.

  “Now Twisting Arrow held the river country and ruled over it. She replaced the magistrate in Telal’s village with one of her lieutenants, and Telal became this lieutenant’s servant. He ingratiated himself with her and made himself invaluable. When the lieutenant was promoted, he moved with her to the palace, where his pleasant manner and harmonious words charmed Twisting Arrow, who took him as her own servant.

  “One day, Twisting Arrow was on a hunting trip. She and Telal became separated from the others. Twisting Arrow’s leg pained her from an old injury. She was weary and desired to rest. So it was that she laid her head in Telal’s lap to sleep, and at last, Telal had the opportunity he had long sought.

  “He drew his knife, grabbed Twisting Arrow by the hair, and placed the knife at her throat. ‘I am the son of the king,’ he told her, ‘the son of your enemies, and today I avenge the deaths of my father, my mother, and my brothers!’

  “‘Have mercy!’ cried Twisting Arrow. ‘I beg you to spare my life.’

  “‘I cannot,’ said Telal, though he had in some measure grown fond of Twisting Arrow. ‘I am the last of my line, the only one remaining to avenge this crime.’

  “‘If you kill me, my lieutenants will find and kill you,’ said Twisting Arrow. ‘Is that what your father desired when he hid you away—for you to die at my people’s hands?’